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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26677390">well versed in etiquette.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLReid/pseuds/LLReid'>LLReid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bloodbound (Visual Novels), Queen B (Visual Novel), The Nanny Affair (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon LGBTQ Character, Dom/sub Undertones, F/F, Fluff and Mush, Kamilah is a protective plant mom okay, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, Light Dom/sub, Quarantine, Same-Sex Marriage, Teacher-Student Relationship, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vampires, and this marriage is teeming with sexual tension, requests!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:40:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,224</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26677390</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLReid/pseuds/LLReid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by; Killer Queen by Queen.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p>“Serafine is dating a mortal who claims to be sexually attracted to plants as well as people and she’s just going along with it because she’s getting pussy—“</p><p>“Excuse me?,” she laughed. </p><p>“When you mute the group chat you miss important details, Kami.”</p><p>“Her new girlfriend is definitely a psychopath and I forbid this relationship from progressing any further.”</p><p>Anastasia snorted. “You forbid it, do you?”</p><p>“I’m putting my foot down. If this continues, the next thing we know Serafine will have run off to join a cult or something, and we all know who will have to go rescue her when that eventually goes south. If I have to rescue one more member of this family from a cult I will not be pleased,” she huffed as she typed out a belligerent text message to Serafine. She was extremely protective of the people she loved, even if her attempts at making sure people didn’t inadvertently get themselves kidnapped or killed could come across as her being overly controlling. “Mortals. Bloody mortals. Sexually attracted to plants. I’ve heard it all. What, does she get herself off looking at those little house plants she has in her bedroom?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ina Kingsley/Anastasia Swann, Kamilah Sayeed/Anastasia Sayeed, Kamilah Sayeed/Main Character (Bloodbound), Sam Dalton/Anastasia Swann</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>91</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. let them eat cake, she says.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>IG PROMPT 1: Kami x Annie in Corona quarantine. Fluff if u dont mind.</p><p>IG PROPMT 2: i don’t like the queen b mc so can you write smh where anastasia dated ina kingsley like the one you did where she dated sam dalton and when kamilah finds out she slept with her professor she teases her about having bad taste in women?</p><p>IG PROMPT 3: Can u write something where Kamilah disapproves of either Lily or Serafine’s new girlfriend. I live for you writing her as the mom friend of the group!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When yet another pandemic had struck the mortal community, Kamilah hadn’t been surprised in the slightest. Living as long as she had, you learned fairly quickly that these things happened by rote. Every century there was something else and the mortals began dropping like flies and ignoring scientists, which only worsened the issue. Their kind never learned and actually seemed to take pride in repeating the sins of their ancestors, which she would never be able to understand.</p><p>As bad as things were this was by no means the worst pandemic she had seen, as vampires had been through all of the worst pandemics in history. During the days of the Black Plague, their biggest complaint had been rotten ‘food’. Nowadays, with the advent of nutritious synthetic blood supplements that came in a range of flavours — that she found utterly repulsive — people were mainly just as irritated as the mortals were to have their modern conveniences stripped away from them. The younger members of the community had become so insufferable she had all but threatened to stab anyone who looked at her before this damn thing was over. Apparently they couldn’t just be thankful to be immune from the virus if they couldn’t visit their local cinema at the weekends or eat out at their favourite restaurants. Idiots. She was surrounded by idiots.</p><p>Kamilah, however, was coping marvellously with this new pace of life. This not having to interact with people she hated on a daily basis suited her just fine. Her wife was the only person she liked all of the time, anyway, and she now got to spend her every waking moment with her. Life literally could not have been any better or more idyllic as far as she was concerned.</p><p>“Besides me,” Kamilah said as she took a long sip out of the fruity cocktail Anastasia had made for her, “who was the best person you’ve ever slept with?”</p><p>Anastasia threw her head back and laughed. To amuse themselves now that there wasn’t much to do in the city they’d been asking one another questions they’d never otherwise ask. They were learning all sorts of fascinating tidbits about each other. Like how Anastasia used to charge people a small fortune to dye their hair bright colours in high school — because she was the only one who could use the bleaching products decently — and then spend her hard earned cash on bottles of Blue WKD, which she’d then sell to her classmates between classes to make a further profit. And Kamilah had told her the story of how, at ten years old, she had tried to mummify Lysimachus with sheets of clean linen whilst he was sleeping because she’d gotten bored in the night — which was evidently the first appearance of her love of all things morbid.</p><p>“You just want to know if you’re better than Sam Dalton, don’t you?,” Anastasia smirked.</p><p>“Do not be absurd. I know I’m better than Samantha Dalton. Every time I see that woman’s fingernails I feel like crying for your vagina.”</p><p>“Mhm,” the Bloodkeeper hummed, taking a sip from her own drink. “For the record, my vagina has always been just fine and you’re definitely the best I’ve ever had. But besides you I think... uh— I’d say Ina Kingsley was a pretty good lay.”</p><p>She snorted. “You did not sleep with your anthropology professor in college.”</p><p>“In my defence I started fucking her before I even realised she was my teacher.”</p><p>She almost choked on her drink as a laugh caught in the back of her throat. “I know your charms are impossible not to fall for but how is that even possible?”</p><p>“Turns out teachers don’t just crawl under their desks like trolls hiding beneath a bridge whenever class finishes,” Anastasia deadpanned. “Trust me, I was shook too.”</p><p>She huffed and playfully kicked her shin beneath the outdoor table they were sat at. “I take it you stopped sleeping together once you realised—“</p><p>“Well... I wouldn’t say that,” Anastasia giggled, her cheeks flushing to a shade of red that rivalled all the coppery hues that laced her hair. “I’m irresistible.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re something alright.”</p><p>“I was her TA, after all, and even though Ina could be a real piece of work at times... she wasn’t half bad. We called it stress relief and snuck around for years so she wouldn’t get fired. I ate her out under her desk one time whilst she had a meeting with Dean Steinhelm, who had no idea I was even in the room— man, those were the days.”</p><p>“So that’s where your love of exhibitionism began.”</p><p>“I’ve always been a freak in the streets and between the sheets, babe.”</p><p>“Has anyone ever told you that your taste in women is seriously questionable?,” she teased. “First your professor, then your boss, and then a two thousand year old vampire. I don’t know if I should be impressed or seriously concerned by your ability to woo older women.”</p><p>“My questionable taste and ability to woo older women worked out pretty well for you, dork, so don’t you even start with me.” Anastasia smirked at her and tossed her a gummy bear before she continued, “and it’s not like your exes were all that great either. At least Ina Kingsley and Sam Dalton were both much saner than the vast majority of your past lovers that I’ve met.”</p><p>She opened her mouth to retort, but considering how swimmingly Anastasia had gotten along with Gaius and Aiko she couldn’t exactly refute that. So she shrugged and drained the rest of her glass. “I’ll allow it but I must point out that Serafine is perfectly sane.”</p><p>“Serafine is dating a mortal who claims to be sexually attracted to plants as well as people and she’s just going along with it because she’s getting pussy—“</p><p>“Excuse me?,” she laughed. </p><p>“When you mute the group chat you miss important details, Kami.”</p><p>“Her new girlfriend is definitely a psychopath and I forbid this relationship from progressing any further.”</p><p>Anastasia snorted. “You forbid it, do you?”</p><p>“I’m putting my foot down. If this continues, the next thing we know Serafine will have run off to join a cult or something, and we all know who will have to go rescue her when that eventually goes south. If I have to rescue one more member of this family from a cult I will not be pleased,” she huffed as she typed out a belligerent text message to Serafine. She was extremely protective of the people she loved, even if her attempts at making sure people didn’t inadvertently get themselves kidnapped or killed could come across as her being overly controlling. “Mortals. Bloody mortals. Sexually attracted to plants. I’ve heard it all. What, does she get herself off looking at those little house plants she has in her bedroom?”</p><p>“I think we know why she has those plants in her bedroom now,” muttered Anastasia.</p><p>“That is— concerning. That is very concerning.” She sighed. “Those poor plants.”</p><p>“Babe,” Anastasia laughed as she looked down at her phone to see the message Kamilah had added to the group chat. </p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Did you really just— oh she’s replied already.”</p><p>“Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you,” she read, making Anastasia start laughing even harder. She sighed and glared at her phone, wishing that Serafine could feel her glare through the screen. This must’ve been what parenthood felt like. These people would be the death of her. “What is it the mortals say, sticks and stones may break my bones— but I’m a vampire so I don’t give a shit. I’ll heal.”</p><p>“Not that I don’t support you in everything you do but you did tell her that her girlfriend was probably a cult leader. You might’ve been a bit dramatic.”</p><p>“I was perfectly fucking civil when I told her she was bedding an imbecile. I didn’t even threaten to stab her fatally if she refused to stop wasting her time with this psychopath... I said I would only mildly stab her.”</p><p>“We’ve talked about how your definition of ‘perfectly fucking civil’ and everyone else’s rarely match up.”</p><p>She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Just do not expect me to be introduced to this plant fucker.”</p><p>“If they continue to date you’ll be obligated to meet her at least once.”</p><p>“I already don’t like her.” She pouted petulantly, making a mental list of everything she'd need for the potential meeting her wife would drag her to kicking and screaming. A few blades, both serrated and non serrated. A vial of acid. A bone saw. A spiked paddle. Hemlock. And a bag of Gummy Bears — she’d become rather partial to snacking on those whilst working from home.</p><p>“Do you actually like anyone?”</p><p>“I like you.”</p><p>“You didn’t at first though.”</p><p>“Ah, yes,” she hummed wistfully, “the thirty seconds before you told Cecil to go fuck himself and simultaneously set my heart ablaze. The gay panic I felt inside the moment I truly noticed your beauty for the first time was transformative. What a time to have been alive.”</p><p>Anastasia snorted. “Dork.”</p><p>In the grand scheme of an immortal life as long and winding as Kamilah’s, five years was hardly any significant length of time. For much of the ancient vampire’s life it had been easy to forget that five years was more time than some mortals ever even saw come to pass and bearing witness to 1,825 different sunrises and sunsets was a blessing that couldn’t accurately be put into words. But the past five years had been the most restorative and transformative of her whole life.</p><p>A laugh that would’ve seemed utterly out of character five years earlier bubbled up in the back of Kamilah’s throat as she followed her wife into the private infinity pool that was the crown jewel of their Manhattan penthouse. Together they flopped like landed fish down the shallow submerged steps, splashing and sinking into the warm, scented waters beneath the fantastical starry sky. And whenever she was able to spend frivolous nights like this with the love of her life, it was still the closest she’d been to an innocent sort of happiness since the earliest days of her childhood back in Egypt. The closest since Lysimachus had been the only one who could make her crack a smile. </p><p>She closed her dark eyes and sank into the soothing warmth, feeling her muscles melt like they had when Anastasia had first kissed her that one ancient night on the train. She’d never forgotten what that had felt like. The steam rose off the surface of the water until she couldn’t see the vibrant city down below them. Even Anastasia, drifting motionless on her back at her side, their hands entwined, was just a shadow. She could have stayed there forever, her hair floating out all around her, Anastasia’s fingers laced with hers, wrapped in mist and dreaming and the scent of rare night blooming flowers from her garden. </p><p>“Where do you think we’ll be one hundred years from now?,” Anastasia murmured, giving her hand a gentle squeeze as the warm water lapped at their exposed skin.</p><p>“I can’t say that I’m particularly fussy, so long as we’re together and in an equal state of undress,” she smirked, standing up and drawing her wife flush against her body. Anastasia’s breath hitched as Kamilah gently traced her bottom lip with the pad of her thumb, something she’d done an uncountable number of times and yet never seemed to grow bored of. Even after five years of studying her face, she still seemed to find another facet of her beauty every single time she looked at her. She continued, her voice low and barely above a whisper, “I know what it’s like to search for something, not knowing what it is, feeling restless and unrooted and wondering if you’ll ever find your place in the world. I know now that my place is wherever you are. We could be sat downstairs on the couch a century from this very moment and I’d be just as happy as I am now — so long as you are at my side.”</p><p>Anastasia smiled and leaned in to place the softest kiss on Kamilah’s lips. The ancient vampire hummed happily as her wet hair fell in waves past her shoulders, framing a face mortals considered a sensual feast. They didn't really know the woman was actually a devil in angel's skin. They should have, though. She may have mellowed out considerably in the past five years but she practically glowed with irreverence, and there was an unholy gleam in her brown eyes that proclaimed she would laugh in your face while cutting out your heart. Or laugh in your face while you cut out her heart. Her wife was the only one who got to experience her soft side — because she had learned long ago we all must be true to our own nature. Acting as anyone other than yourself merely brought you pain and made you appear ashamed of who and what you happened to be. Others would feed off that shame, and soon it would be all that you were.</p><p>“I traveled all over the world when I was mortal, but I never dreamed I'd meet someone like you,” Anastasia confessed, her lips brushing against hers with every word.</p><p>"Strong?,” she smirked.</p><p>A chuckle escaped her. "Yes."</p><p>"So dashingly beautiful it almost hurts to look at me?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"Sharp of wit and exceptionally skilled with a dagger?"</p><p>"Absolutely." </p><p>“Immortal?”</p><p>“Mhm.” </p><p>Her lips curled into a slow, beautiful smile. “The original displayer of what Lily has trademarked: Big Fang Energy?”</p><p>Another chuckle as she rested her brow against her’s. "But I mean a woman… who is also my best friend. Oh, I don't know how to explain it. All these years of speaking English and it still makes no sense to me!"</p><p>Kamilah snorted and savoured her amusement — and her earnest words. "Just call me yours. That is all I want to be.”</p><p>Anastasia caressed her cheek and Kamilah bit the inside of her lip, her heart purring wildy. The pleasure of her touch, even one so innocent, still rocked her to the core. From the first, this woman had enchanted her. She was more than beautiful. She was smart and strong and determined. When Kamilah was with her she wanted to be a better woman, even still. It’d taken a lot of work for her to truly believe herself worthy of Anastasia, but now she did believe it — she was not the same woman she’d once been. </p><p>Smiling to herself, she leaned in and kissed her wife, and their souls melted into each other in a melody that was older than time itself. The world may have been going to shit all around them, but they were together and that was truly all Kamilah needed in order to be happy. Nothing else mattered.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. playful as a pussy cat.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PROMPT: Could maybe write a second part where they meet serafine’s girlfriend please</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I don’t want to be here,” Kamilah grumbled like a petulant child as she flopped down on Lily’s couch beside her wife with a bottle of wine in her hand. She wasn’t even bothering with a glass and she was not sharing with anyone. This night at The Shadow Den called for drinking straight from the bottle. </p><p>“Then why did you come?,” Lily wheezed.</p><p>“My wife made me— Seriously, Annie, what the hell were you thinking? I want to go home. I have more than enough friends.”</p><p>“You have three friends, Kamilah,” Anastasia deadpanned without looking up from her phone. “Being introverted is one thing but you’d literally turn into a hermit if I didn’t force you to socialise every so often.”</p><p>Adrian and Lily both snorted, but shut up immediately when Kamilah shot them a look that would’ve sent people with more common sense running for the hills. “Indeed, and those three people I choose to associate with are exhausting enough as it is. Why do I have to socialise with Serafine’s plant fucking pet mortal?”</p><p>“Because you love Serafine and this plant fucking mortal obviously makes her happy.” Anastasia sighed. “We’ve talked about this, babe.”</p><p>“Listen to your wife, Kamilah,” Adrian smirked. “I’m sure you can behave yourself for a few hours. We are not breaking out the violins and pity partying.”</p><p>“I will stab you.”</p><p>“Shhhh,” Adrian teased.</p><p>“Shush me again, I dare you,” she growled. It was times like this she longed for the power she’d held back in Egypt, back when pissing her off could be a death sentence that wouldn’t even require her to dirty her own precious blades. When she was in this bad a mood it all sounded rather lovely. She was royalty, damn it. A princess of Egypt. She didn’t have to sit here and tolerate this slander.</p><p>“How bad can this chick really be?,” Lily asked. “Like, I know we all get the vibe she just wants to be a vampire and hang with us for Instagram clout but isn’t it understandable? I mean, we’re us.”</p><p>“She is sexually attracted to plants!” She threw her hand up in a fit of exasperation. “I consider myself a fairly accepting person. I love that the mortals are becoming more liberal in their views of attraction. I don’t care who people are attracted to as long as everyone is consenting and of legal age, but feeling a sexual attraction to a goddamn ficus cannot be considered normal.”</p><p>Lily snorted. “Okay, Karen.”</p><p>Her brow furrowed and she turned to her wife for clarification. “Karen?”</p><p>“It’s an insult, sweetheart,” Anastasia replied whilst softly patting her hand. The silvery rays of the moon spilling through the skylight paid her absolute tribute. She was an angel.</p><p>“I fail to see how a perfectly common mortal name is an insult. I work with plenty of Karen’s and they are— oh.” She sighed and turned back to Lily, glaring at her. “I will kill you with my bare hands.”</p><p>“So Adrian gets stabbed and I’m not even worth the effort of drawing your daggers?,” her protégé gasped, feigning offence. “Well fuck you, too, amigo. I am made of awesome. Anyone who can’t see that isn’t smart enough to kill me, anyway.”</p><p>Before she could open her mouth Anastasia gave her hand a tight squeeze, drawing her attention away from Lily. Her hand moved to the side of her face and soothingly stroked her cheek in a desperate bid to calm her down. She was well aware she was too intense, too jaded, too warped and too... everything for most women to take for long. But her wife always seemed to break through all of that without even doing anything. </p><p>“You know, you’re pretty when you smile,” Anastasia whispered.</p><p>“Fierce, woman,” she breathed, moving to rest her brow against hers. To her, she belonged. Her ancient heart beat only for her. No other would tempt her, from this day and beyond. To her, she would always belong. “I am fierce.”</p><p>“You’re both.” The Bloodkeeper tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear for her. “You know I’m not exactly thrilled to be here either but Serafine wants us to meet this girl, so we have to suck it up no matter how crazy or gold digging she sounds. Behave yourself for an hour then we can fake an emergency and leave.”</p><p>She snorted. “What did you have in mind?”</p><p>“I’ll fake a psychic sensory overload and you can be my dashing rescuer. How’s that?”</p><p>“Music to my ears.”</p><p>Before anyone could say anything else, the door to Lily’s bedsit opened to reveal Serafine and the Ficus Fiend herself. She looked exactly like Kamilah had expected her to; black hair with two neon green streaks framing her face, a nose piercing, and black chunky boots that were so heavy they’d kill a man with a single kick to the skull. How practical. She clearly took pride in her appearance — which was respectable, even if she did look like a cartoon character in Kamilah’s opinion. </p><p>She always felt sorry for mortals, spending so much time in front of the mirror. Fixing their hair, makeup, and clothes, mostly to impress others. Did they really see themselves in the mirror? Was it what they wanted to see? Did it make them feel good or bad? And mostly she wondered if they based their self-image on their reflected one.</p><p>“Guys, this is Rain!,” Serafine beamed. </p><p>Rain. </p><p>Of course her name was Rain.</p><p>Everyone smiled and did their best to be polite but, dear god, it was like meeting a twelve year old drunk on a six pack of Red Bull. She seemed more Lily’s type than Serafine’s, and that in itself was just baffling. Kamilah had smoked dope exactly twice in her life, but stopped when she realised it was called dope for a reason — dope was exactly what this hyperactive plant fucker needed. And a lot of it.</p><p>“Is it true you’re only twenty-eight?,” the mortal asked Anastasia.</p><p>“Twenty-seven, still.” Anastasia took a sip out of the glass of water she was sipping. “Twenty-eight in a few weeks.”</p><p>The mortal’s brow puckered, and she blinked over at her. “Twenty-seven hundred years, right?”</p><p>Kamilah resisted the urge to roll her eyes as Anastasia replied, “No. Just twenty-seven plain, ordinary years.”</p><p>“You don’t mean human years, do you?”</p><p>“No. She means dog years,” Kamilah said dryly, then pressed her lips together. Where was the filter that was usually poised over her mouth? No one seemed to mind, though. Rather, everyone just seemed as stupefied she felt. Human years. What other kind of years were there?</p><p>“What’s so hard to believe about my age?” As the question echoed between them, a thought seemed to occurr to the Bloodkeeper and she blanched. “Do I look ancient?”</p><p>“No, no. Of course not. But you’re immortal. Powerful.”</p><p>“Same,” Lily snorted.</p><p>“You should be on my YouTube channel sometime,” Rain said to Anastasia. “I’m a vlogger and a makeup artist. We could silence the people that think you’re gonna enslave the human race.”</p><p>“Mortals,” she muttered below her breath. “Bloody mortals.”</p><p>“Yeah, maybe,” Anastasia said in a way that was very clearly a definite ‘I would rather be hit by a bus than be on your YouTube channel’. “But I don’t think it would take a whole video to tell them that most of the time I'm too tired and prone to procrastinating to reign over vampirekind, let alone enslave the human race.”</p><p>It was no surprise to her that this mortal wanted to use her wife to garner attention. But that didn’t mean it didn’t enrage her. Anastasia had upended the old world order and held the sort of power that kings and dictators alike could only dream of, and despite the fact she supposedly played no part in politics outside of the vampire community of New York — even an uneducated mortal knew that was a bold faced lie. Very little in this world happened without Anastasia and her council’s approval, and they were all better for it. Amazing what could happen when the decisions previously made by old white capitalists were made by a female academic.</p><p>To help his own political career Adrian had once been quoted publicly as saying he had lived so long, he could no longer tell the difference between the two political parties. They both sounded like broken records that started skipping after the founding fathers died. And now Anastasia had come along and shown them all what it meant to be a real leader, mentoring him as he had once mentored her.</p><p>Anastasia’s power and popularity only made Kamilah more protective of her, though. Too many people wanted things from her and whenever anyone she’d just met asked for something, she wanted to stab them. Like, more than she wanted to stab other people.</p><p>“Can we leave yet?,” she whispered to Anastasia — in Russian so that the other vampires who could hear her wouldn’t know what she was saying — as she felt her eyes begin to glaze over as the mortal announced she intended to become a professional influencer and a digital nomad when she graduated from NYU. Were either of those fads truly considered to be jobs by the mortals?</p><p>“We’ve been here for thirteen minutes, Kami.”</p><p>She scoffed and disappointment mixed with bitter acceptance flashed in her eyes. If she had to have strange powers, she wished they could have been more like hers rather than merely being able to sense darkness. That ability to mess with people’s minds would have made her life a lot easier; she could have sent certain people away with no memory of her... and what a glorious life that would be.</p><p>“Can’t you just mess with people’s minds so they think we’ve been here longer? Or better yet, just knock them out and make them think we got drunk and they just passed out... that would let us slip out—“</p><p>“What are you two whispering about over there?,” Serafine laughed. “Your Kazakh sounds like it is getting better, mon amie.”</p><p>“It was Russian, actually, but thank you. We were discussing our dinner plans for tomorrow evening.” She glanced at Anastasia and whispered in Russian again, “now is the perfect opportunity. Pretend your abilities are giving you an aneurysm and I will scoop you up and take you home to recover. We’ll even get real pizza on the way home, this stuff with the cauliflower crust the mortal wanted to order tastes like vomit.”</p><p>“You’re not serious, are you?”</p><p>“You know you wanted to leave the minute she complimented Lily’s cactuses.”</p><p>Anastasia snorted. “Okay... that’s true.”</p><p>“Double over in agony. Make it seem like it would kill you if you were mortal. Don’t be afraid to fake a faint if you feel like it would help our cause — there’s no such thing as being too overdramatic.”</p><p>“You owe me for this,” Anastasia muttered before taking another sip of her water. The moment the glass touched her lips, she jerked forwards and let the water spill onto the floor. Both of her hands flew up to fist in her hair and a horrifyingly realistic pained whine escaped from the back of her throat.</p><p>“Baby?,” Kamilah gasped, giving the performance of her life. She’d faked orgasms with Gaius that were much less dramatic than this. She caressed the back of Anastasia’s head and leaned in closer to her ear, fighting to turn her face towards her as Anastasia held her muscles rigid and pretended like she was sobbing from the agony. “My love. I’m here. It’ll be okay.”</p><p>“Anastasia?,” Lily asked. “Oh shit, not this again. Fuck—“</p><p>“Is she okay?,” the mortal shrieked, yanking at Serafine’s arm. “Should we call a doctor or something?”</p><p>“Her abilities make her sick from time to time,” Adrian replied calmly, having already moved across Lily’s small apartment to get a cold compress for the back of Anastasia’s neck. “Doctors can’t help her. She’ll heal on her own.”</p><p>“But she’s gonna be fine, right?,” Rain asked Serafine. “Yours don’t do that, do they? Why do hers do that and yours—“</p><p>“I’ll explain later. Anastasia’s abilities are much different than mine,” Serafine said as she pried the mortal from her arm and moved to check on Anastasia. “Ma petite, take deep breaths. You must breathe through the pain.”</p><p>“It hurts,” Anastasia sobbed.</p><p>Kamilah had to fight the urge to start crying herself at how good Anastasia was at acting. She’d seen enough of these episodes she’d occasionally have if she overused her abilities to the point of exhaustion to know that she was dead on. Shaking. Crying. Drowsiness. Shallow breaths. Actual beads of sweat pouring down her face. The only thing she couldn’t do on command was make her nose bleed. The Hollywood idiots receiving golden statues for mediocre performances had nothing on her.</p><p>“I’m taking her home to bed immediately,” she said, scooping her ‘sickly’ wife up into her arms. “She needs rest.”</p><p>“Of course,” Serafine said. </p><p>“Do you need help getting her home?,” Adrian asked.</p><p>“No. Thank you, though.”</p><p>Without another word, Kamilah left. She held Anastasia tightly and had to fight not to start laughing the moment she felt her tears turn into giggles she was barely managing to muffle against her neck. </p><p>She continued holding her as close to her heart as was physically possible as they made their way into the Shadow Den’s long market street that lead to the main entrance tunnel. This woman reminded her of too much that she’d once forgotten. She reminded her of what it felt like to be alive, to think of sunlight and happiness as something she could enjoy instead of something she could bare for a few moments at a time, to breathe and have it change her, refresh her, awaken her, instead of just churning on and on some old useless habit that taunted her with what she use to be, to sigh and feel relief, to cry and let her sadness pass, instead of having it all bottled up inside of her forever and ever until she didn’t know who she was anymore.</p><p>Life was no longer the savage killer on the other end of the stake, but something to be lived well and enjoyed. Until Anastasia, her life had been desolate. She had existed, but she didn't truly live. Now she lived, even in her death.</p><p>“We’re going to hell for this,” the Bloodkeeper laughed.</p><p>“My love, we’ll be damned to hell for a lot of things. Somehow I think faking an aneurysm every so often to get out of things we do not wish to do is the least of our worries.”</p><p>“How long do you think we’ll keep getting away with it?”</p><p>“If you keep acting as well as you do, centuries. Perhaps even longer.”</p><p>The moment she returned Anastasia to her feet they started laughing, almost doubling over at the ridiculousness of what they’d just done. Random vampires they hardly knew turned to look at them as they fled the Shadow Den at break-neck speed, running hand-in-hand and laughing like a pair of naughty children who’d been caught red-handed with their hands in the cookie jar. This was probably the very last thing the former Clanless expected to see. Kamilah Sayeed giggling and acting like a lovestruck fool. But she didn’t give a damn who saw her. She was happy and she wanted the whole world to know it. Only a love like this one, where she could be silly and know that it was okay, healed. The anger, guilt, and fear she had carried since before her Turning had only destroyed and separated her from her true capabilities. </p><p>This was who and what she really was. </p><p>This was who she had always been meant to be.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. in conversation she spoke just like a baroness.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PROMPT 1: Hi could you write a fan fic were annie asks Adrian and Kamilah whose the best lover out of her and Serafine as a prank for Serafine?</p><p>PROMPT 2: could you maybe write a one shot where kamilah x mc host a dinner party at their penthouse and serafine brings her plant loving gf with😂 and then at at the end of the night all of them are just drinking on kamilah x mc ‘s rooftop and serafine’s gf compliments kamilah’s plants and asks if she can take some plants home for her and serafine 😂😂😂</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was getting beyond ridiculous, Kamilah thought as she sat at the outdoor dining table in the middle of the garden, absolutely boiling with anger at the fact Serafine had thought it appropriate to bring The Plant Fucker to a family dinner happening amongst her night blooming flowers. The flowers that she tended to on a daily basis with her own two hands, most of them rare enough that it had taken her years to track them down. The flowers she would only allow to be seen by people she trusted. </p><p>The others might’ve been pretending not to notice the fact that the mewling mortal was eyeing the colourful garden blooming around her, but Kamilah could do no such thing.</p><p>“Just tell us already!,” Adrian laughed as he refilled everybody’s glass of wine. “Serafine, you know this has been bothering us for centuries. Is Kamilah the better lover or am I?”</p><p>“Spill the tea, girl!,” Lily wheezed. “My money is on Kamilah. There is no way Adrian knows how to appreciate a clit.”</p><p>Adrian huffed. “I’m excellent in bed and have never had any complaints.”</p><p>Kamilah scoffed, her eyes leaving the mortal for a moment to focus on everyone else. “There is no tea to spill. She obviously will not answer the question to spare Adrian’s delicate man feelings. Annie will vouch for me, I am an exceptional lover in every regard.”</p><p>“Best I’ve ever had,” Anastasia nodded, “and she can definitely appreciate a clit — worship it, even.”</p><p>“Indeed I do worship it,” she smirked, squeezing her wife’s hand tightly beneath the table. “Adrian could never.”</p><p>“Yes I could,” Adrian pouted.</p><p>“It is a known fact that men can’t make a woman feel as good as another woman can,” she replied dismissively. “Isn’t that right, Serafine?”</p><p>Serafine chuckled as she swirled her wine around in her glass and took a long sip from it. “Why would I divulge the truth when the mystery is so much more entertaining?”</p><p>“You’ve slept with them both?,” Rain asked.</p><p>“Many lifetimes ago,” Serafine sighed happily. “Anastasia is the only person here with which I have had no experience.”</p><p>“Alright then, if you won’t answer their question,” Anastasia said, “then I have a question for Kami and Adrian. Out of me and Serafine who is the better lover?”</p><p>Serafine snorted. “Now that is an interesting question.”</p><p>“I have only been involved in an intimate scenario with you once at Rheya’s bacchanalia and we never actually did anything too... involved,” Adrian said quickly, casting a look towards Kamilah. She was well aware of his love for her wife — as was everybody except for Anastasia herself, who was always far too adorably oblivious to people’s attraction to her unless they spelled it out for her — but she was well aware he’d never betray her or jeopardise his friendship with Anastasia by trying to act on it. However lusting over your best friend’s wife who you’d loved since the moment you first saw her sucked. There was the awkward factor. As in, it was really fucking awkward. “And I— uh— would prefer not to get stabbed—“</p><p>“I was also involved then, you fool, as were Lily and Jax,” she scolded, kicking his shins beneath the table. “Stop acting like you’ve been sneaking into my marital bed behind my back when it was a completely consensual, alcohol fuelled, non-romantic encounter. It’s unbecoming of one your age to be so flustered whilst talking about sex.”</p><p>Serafine sighed. “My biggest regret in life thus far has been missing that orgy. I was in the building. One of you should’ve fetched me.”</p><p>“Vampire orgys... do they happen often?,” Rain chuckled.</p><p>“Not often enough,” Lily deadpanned. “But when they do they’re sick.” </p><p>Adrian laughed. “Must I answer the question?”</p><p>“If you want me to answer yours, then yes,” Serafine beamed. “Go right ahead, both of you. Between Anastasia and I, who is the better lover?”</p><p>“Annie,” Kamilah said without even having to think about it. When Anastasia smiled at her there was a sweetness in her smile that cut through the steel of Kamilah’s ancient heart like a diamond blade.</p><p>Serafine pouted. “Really?”</p><p>“Oh relax, I never said you were terrible. You’re very good but we were not sexually compatible,” she sighed, reaching out to pat her arm. “You’re aware how... complex... I am and how difficult it is for me to finish at all—“</p><p>“If by complex, you mean highly specific about everything and extremely dominant... yes,” Serafine laughed. “I do recall how we often fought for dominance.”</p><p>“Indeed.” She nodded and took a sip from her wine glass. “Annie and I are sexually compatible on every level and she is not turned off by my more... taboo interests.”</p><p>“Is that your way of actually admitting you’re kinky freaks?,” Lily interjected. “Do chains and whips excite you?”</p><p>“I may be bad but I’m perfectly good at it,” Anastasia sang, sending Lily into a hysterical fit of laughter. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite meeee.”</p><p>“Na na na, come on,” sang Lily. “Rihanna better fucking call us when she decides to drop the new music. We gotta be on this album.”</p><p>She sighed softly and took a long sip out of her wine glass, her eyes drifting to the elegant diamond day collar choker necklace she’d had made for Anastasia back when she’d first Collared her in her mortal life. The collar represented something of the utmost importance to her. Kamilah saw it as losing who she had once been, as the love of her life trusting the person she had become enough to let her be in charge — enough to be hers. She needed her submission the way she needed air to breath or blood to drink, and loved the fact that it had only ever been real. When they first met, before The Bloodkeeeper was truly feeling it, she had not pretended. She had made her earn the right to be the one to Collar her.</p><p>Even now her body yearned to be closer to her and she was secretly counting the minutes until everybody left, having reached her capacity for social interaction around the time she’d noticed the mortal eyeing her well tended ivy. She wanted to press her nose into her wife’s skin and inhale hungrily — she always smelled as if she’d just taken a walk across a sunny meadow. She wanted to rub her palm against her thighs to feel the velvet of her skin in a place where no one but her was permitted to touch. She wanted to slide her hands underneath her dress and rediscover every single angle and curve of her, with the fierce dedication she’d once put into mastering the Grandes Études.</p><p>The next minute Kamilah realised what had happened to her, that she’d zoned out staring at her wife, quietly marvelling at how beautiful she looked in this light, but not before Anastasia caught her staring.</p><p>For years she had been fixated by her inner and outer beauty in a way that made her understand why so many great empires had crumbled for love. Back when she’d first met her she had read an entire article on the evolutionary significance of beauty as a rebuke to herself, that she, who understood the concepts so well, nevertheless could not escape the magnetic pull of one particular woman’s beauty.</p><p>Anastasia knew. With surgical precision, she had peeled back her layers of ancient defences, until her battered heart lay bare before her, all its shame and yearning exposed in her hands.</p><p>“You look like you’re imagining me naked,” Anastasia whispered.</p><p>Kamilah smirked and gazed at her until she could no longer stand the asphyxiation in her chest. “I am imagining you naked. It’s my favourite pastime.”</p><p>The Bloodkeeper playfully elbowed her arm. “Pervert.”</p><p>“But I’m your pervert.”</p><p>“It’s the millennial sub’s dream to be rode like an amusement park ride by a sexy billionaire,” Lily said, drawing them out of their playful back and forth. “That and to be one of those rare unicorns who can party like past-day Robert Downey Jr. and somehow be as successful and revered as present-day Robert Downey Jr. You’re literally living the Iron Man dream, Anastasia.”</p><p>Adrian blinked at her. “I’m available.”</p><p>She laughed, her mouth full of ice cream. “I’m sure you are, Christian Grey. I’m sure you are.”</p><p>“Ow,” Anastasia cringed as she attempted to fix her already perfect mascara. She was using the reflection on her glass as a mirror. Of course she’d poked herself in the eye. Of course she had to be so adorable without even trying to be. Kamilah had no idea how she’d went about her day and socialised with her friends and fucked other people for two thousand years without having this one important person in her life.</p><p>“Would you stop touching yourself?,” she laughed as she took the mascara tube from her hand and put it back in her makeup bag. She picked up a napkin to wipe the smear of black she just made at the inside corner of her eyelid. Those tingles she felt in her abdomen every time she looked at her spread lower. Her body always seemed to react this way when Anastasia did something stupid for some odd reason that she hadn’t yet examined too closely.</p><p>“You love it when I touch myself,” Anastasia pouted.</p><p>She snorted, her entire body tingling with desire at the mere idea of it and the mental images that sprang to mind. “Indeed... but you already look perfect.”</p><p>“Babeee.” </p><p>“You make a little circle with your mouth when you put your eye makeup on, did you know that?,” she smirked and traced her lower lip with her thumb. “It’s basically begging me to stick my fingers in there.”</p><p>Anastasia nipped at her thumb and then kissed it. “Is it?”</p><p>“Mhm..”</p><p>“Getting back to what we were saying before any finger sucking occurs,” Serafine laughed before Adrian could ask her who Christian Grey was. “I do believe it’s your turn to answer the question, Adrian.”</p><p>All eyes fell on him and he shifted in his seat. “I— Um— Anastasia’s hands were exceptional, not that she touched me... there— Uh, Not that Serafine’s aren’t— Nor have I experienced any other part of Anastasia— But her hands were wonderful— And Serafine also had a good mouth— Um— And good... things—“</p><p>“Good things?,” Serafine snorted. “My good things and I thank you kindly for the compliment.”</p><p>“As do me and my wonderful hands,” Anastasia giggled, hiding her face in Kamilah’s shoulder. She was wired into her ancient heart. Twisted and kinked and threaded right through.</p><p>“You— It—“ He drained his wine glass and started laughing. “You people are evil. You actually take pleasure in torturing me, don’t you?”</p><p>“Indeed,” Kamilah nodded. She picked up her spoon, gathered the last bit of trifle from her bowl, and consumed it with her characteristic mixture of gourmandise and wistfulness. “You’re very easy to torture.”</p><p>“I think he’s having a stroke,” Lily laughed. She was engrossed with her phone, her chair tipped back so far that anyone with a functional brain cell could predict a very loud disaster in the near future. </p><p>“Can vampires have strokes?,” Rain asked her.</p><p>Lily shrugged. “If we could I’d have given Sugar Mama Sayeed here a least fifty by now.”</p><p>“I do believe you have a question to answer, Serafine,” Kamilah prodded, purposely ignoring the irritating moniker Lily liked to tease her with. If she wasn’t being called Karen, it was either Morticia Addams, or Sugar Mama Sayeed. It was all rather exhausting.</p><p>“I consider myself my own best lover,” Serafine said coyly. “Neither of you take the cake in that department.”</p><p>Adrian and Kamilah shared an irritated glance before both turning to glare at her, even the plant fucker seemed somewhat put out with her answer. No words. There were no words to accurately convey what she was feeling right at the moment. Horror, maybe? Absolute insanity? Irritation? There was no word she knew of that could accurately convey exactly how it felt to want to stab someone in the eyes this much.</p><p>“Bitch, you’re about to get stabbed,” Lily hissed. “Fucking run for your goddamn life. I’ll shove her into the pool to hold her off—“</p><p>“Shove me into the pool and I’ll shove you off the roof,” she deadpanned, “and that’s before sending you my dry cleaning bill, and having you replace every single item in my pockets.”</p><p>“This is too much fun,” Serafine drawled. “You did not think I was ready to give this game up just yet, did you? Anyone who trusts a serpent deserves its bite. The wise see a creature for what it is, not what it says it may be.”</p><p>She glared at her. “I would like it to be known that you only grow more insufferable with age.”</p><p>“I pride myself in that, mon amie.” Serafine sighed happily. “I live to torment you.”</p><p>She pinched the bridge of her nose and actually looked over the glass guard rail that surrounded their rooftop, and studied the world of oblivious mortals below. She realised that the wind had shifted to the East. A storm wasn’t far off. From this high above Manhattan it wasn’t hard to smell the moisture in the air, a fetid, living thing. Tiny little isolated drops of rain had even started to fall occasionally, licking at windows, the sidewalks, the people below.</p><p>“We should get some moon flowers,” Rain said to Serafine. “They’re beautiful.”</p><p>At that Kamilah’s head snapped back to the mortal and Anastasia immediately reached out to rub her thigh beneath the table. Every muscle in her body clenched and her hands subconsciously drifted to the hilts of her daggers. The panic was sudden and complete. One minute she was calmly watching the world go by, the next minute every last bit of her logic and rationality had deserted her.</p><p>“The white ones?,” Serafine asked, her eyes drifting towards her precious moon flowers growing amongst the exceedingly rare Juliet roses she’d grown for Anastasia.</p><p>“Mhm,” Rain nodded. “They only bloom at night, you know.”</p><p>Kamilah’s jaw clenched as they eyed her flowers. She was often spectacularly silent. But her normal silence was that of the woods and meadows, a natural absence of speech. Right now, on the other hand, her silence was that of walled forts and battlements, a silence that watched and waited.</p><p>Anastasia soothingly stroked her thigh, knowing that her silence wasn’t simply distracted anymore; there was something unnerving about it. Nobody else seemed to realise they were stood on the bow of a ship, watching the captain scan the horizon for signs of impending disaster only the latter could recognise.</p><p>Kamilah may have mellowed out considerably but you did not mess with her garden unless you had a death wish.</p><p>She was going to snap and kill this plant fucking mortal before this evening had drawn to a close — eagerly and with great satisfaction. Perhaps she was thinking figuratively; perhaps not. Everyone would find out if she kept eyeing her pride and joy the way she was. Likely too late.</p><p>Patience was an overrated virtue. It was much more fun to have what you wanted the moment that you wanted it — especially since there was no guarantee that a longer wait would produce better results.</p><p>“Perhaps our dear Kamilah—“</p><p>“No,” she interjected, her fingers tightening around her blades. She sighed inwardly. The problem was not that she didn’t always understand the full spectrum of human emotions. It was that even when she did, she still gave those close to her the opposite of what they wished for. “And before you ask for me to elaborate, no is a full answer.”</p><p>“You have thousands of flowers, mon amie,” Serafine chuckled.</p><p>“I’m not a generous individual.”</p><p>“Where do you get them?,” Rain asked her.</p><p>She drained the remaining contents of her wine glass. “From an Argentinian werewolf who procures all of my most precious flowers.”</p><p>Rain’s jaw dropped. “You’re serious?”</p><p>“Indeed,” she said tartly. Her brow furrowed and she sighed — why must every sublime moment come with a bereft hour? </p><p>As the mortal continued to nag her about her flowers she exhaled and asked the hired wait staff for another bowl of trifle — and wished that she had Anastasia’s distaste for most desserts. Cheesecake was the only dessert besides chewy white chocolate chip cookies Anastasia would touch, and only if there was no toppings or fruity flavours. Plain New York cheesecake. Whereas Kamilah liked everything so long as it was too sweet or filled with artificial coloured dyes. Not always did she wish to be pickier, of course, but for brief and intense spells that made it easier to give up extra servings in times of an impending murder across the dinner table.</p><p>She had always known her own mind and been uncommonly competent at almost everything she did. And she had always taken great pride in herself — even when she’d been the bloody queen of vampires, when she’d become the envy of her financial colleagues, a woman who, despite the elevated circumstances into which she had been born, had somehow found everything she needed after more than two thousand years of life. Her wife. Her family. Her garden. And she was not going to allow a social climbing mortal using one of her dearest friends for social media fame who claimed to be sexually attracted to plants to encroach on her happiness.</p><p>“Is there any particular reason I can’t physically unsheathe my daggers?,” she whispered in Anastasia’s ear. “My hands can touch their hilts but no matter how hard I try to close my fingers around them, I can’t, and I feel a certain amount of tingling in my arms that has become very familiar. You’re using your abilities on me.”</p><p>“I’m doing you a favour,” Anastasia murmured, bopping her on the nose with the tip of her finger. “You’re wearing a vintage Chanel blouse... you don’t want blood stains on it as much as I don’t want to help you dispose of a body.”</p><p>She huffed and playfully kicked her shin beneath the table, which quickly dissolved into an extremely immature game of footsy. “Nobody else who did this to me would live to tell the tale. Only a fool would dare.”</p><p>“But I’m your fool.”</p><p>She drew her into a kiss. “Indeed you are.”</p><p> </p><p>~ fin.</p>
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